NANCY'S
STORY
My Journey
Into PFLAG
By Nancy Killian
August 2002
One person's effort to
understand her gay friends and
to contribute to her community.
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I needed to find somewhere
to go where I could learn about the difficulties and prejudices with which
they have to live as well as deal with my feelings about my friend’s
illness.
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I came to this city seeking career advancement without knowing anyone.
I left my family and friends, my circle of support. I have a lot of friends
back home that are gay. One is living with AIDS. I needed to find somewhere
to go where I could learn about the difficulties and prejudices with which
they have to live as well as deal with my feelings about my friend’s illness.
I found out about PFLAG through the Welcome Newcomer program, which helps
people new to the area learn what resources are available, important things
that a newcomer has to do (driver's license, voter registration, etc.) and fun
things to do as well entertainment available in the area.
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My nephew Ely, who was
living with me at the time, had recently come out to me and wanted me
to meet his circle of friends. His friend Scott suggested that
Ely and I join him at a PFLAG support meeting.
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I went to my first support meeting in 1996 but did not feel like I belonged
there. I did not give myself a chance to get to know the people involved
with PFLAG Tucson. I went to my second PFLAG meeting in March 2001 upon
the request of my nephew and his friend. My nephew Ely, who was living
with me at the time, had recently come out to me and wanted me to meet his
circle of friends. His friend Scott suggested that Ely and I join him at
a PFLAG support meeting. This is where I would normally say "and the rest
is history," but that is not really the case.
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I have several gay
friends back home, but never really thought about what they have to go
through being different . . .
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I have several gay friends back home, but never really thought about
what they have to go through being different -- the hatred from people who
do not even know them, who want to lump all GLBTQ (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual,
Transgendered and Questioning) people into one category and call them
the enemy. I did not know about the homosexuals that were persecuted during
WWII. I had only been taught about the Jewish people in school. I have felt
different because of my social-economic background, but that’s NOT being
hated because of what I AM. I am a Catholic Caucasian female that has never
really questioned why things are the way they are. My mother always taught
me that people are individuals and never to judge because I probably did not
know the whole story of their life. Since I am an open-minded person it is
very hard for me to understand people who feel that they need to hurt those
who are not like them.
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I know now that I have
to be a voice to help educate, to share my love for humankind, and to
make people realize that GLBTQ persons are people first.
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I see on TV and read in books about ignorance ruling people lives.
Differences are what make this world interesting. I know now that I
have to be a voice to help educate, to share my love for humankind, and
to make people realize that GLBTQ persons are people first. I know this
sounds like a cliché and that there is no way that I can ever hope to
accomplish this monumental task. But I can and so can you…join a group
that educates the public. Whether you read to children, help someone
with a debilitating illness, build homes for the needy, or simply keep
on learning about our differences, if you and I remain open to change
-- change will happen.
I find that PFLAG is where I want to keep learning. I will continue
to give my talents to the PFLAG Tucson chapter. I know that I will keep
learning from those people that I meet. I hope that this article has inspired
someone to become active in his or her community in some way.
God bless, Nancy
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